


Pastel from the sky above

by premiumlwthes



Category: One Direction (Band), Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Bottom Louis, Bottom Tyler, Cutting, Drunk Tyler, Gay, Gay Harry, Gay Louis, Gay Tyler, Harry Styles - Freeform, Harry Styles Loves Louis Tomlinson, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson Fluff, Jealous Tyler, Louis Tomlinson - Freeform, Louis Tomlinson Loves Harry Styles, M/M, POV Tyler, Suicidal Louis, Suicidal Thoughts, josh dun - Freeform, joshler - Freeform, larry - Freeform, larry stylinson - Freeform, suicidal tyler, tyler joseph - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-30
Updated: 2016-04-30
Packaged: 2018-06-05 11:13:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6702430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/premiumlwthes/pseuds/premiumlwthes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>okay so basically Tyler faces some super huge insecurities and he's super suicidal and needs someone to save him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pastel from the sky above

**Author's Note:**

> okay so this is mainly going to be a Tyler/Josh fic with mentions of Louis and Harry they don't play a huge part in this but they're still characters so don't get confused :D

_Why? he asks himself. Why is everything so hard? Everything seems so difficult and his world is falling apart. No one's ever there for him and when days seem like they're getting brighter they're just getting worse and he's just so fucking tired._

_The world as he knows it is caving in, he feels like an animal that's being caged up all the time never able to set himself free. He always tries to please others but where does it get him? Hurt. Pain is all he knows at this point. He wipes the tears that won't stop. They flow down his cheeks like a hose that won't stop spewing._

_When did it get like this?_

_When did everything fall apart?_

\----

He looks in the mirror, disgusted but pleased. The image of last night rushing through his mind, it's sickening he knows this but this is who he's become there's no getting around it. It gives him a sort of satisfaction he could never tell anyone about. Why? because he's sick. Sick minded at least, but nobody knows that.

He would never let anybody know that.

"Tyler where are you headed?" his mom asks.

"Just going out for a walk, need some air is all. I'll be back soon." Tyler adds, shutting the door behind him.

He's not only going out for a walk he's going out to forget. Forget about everything, that's what he needs. He just needs to clear his mind, but not just one certain thing, of everything.

Tyler feels buckled up. He has so many emotions so many feelings.

So many thoughts.

But he has no trust in anyone, not even his own parents. They're judgmental. So judgmental, and because of that Tyler's a totally different person around them. They don't even notice. Probably never question to themselves "Why is our son always locked up in his room? Why is he always depressed but suddenly fine when he's around us? Why is he always trying to get away, leave the house?

Why is he never happy?"

Tyler makes his way to his hideaway, deep in a forest that's a few miles from his house, he practically owns that place. But he's not alone, he's got someone, the only person he trusts. Nathan.

His boyfriend.

Yeah, he's gay too, great right? Just fuels to the many sorts of fucked up he is. His parents don't know about this either.

Tyler's whole life revolves around Nathan. They've been dating for almost six months and he seems like the only person who understands Tyler's dark mind, when his demons get the best of him and all he has left is his useless self. His annoying flesh living body that tears apart his mind.

But Nathan's always there to fix him.

He approaches the same familiar spot that he always meets Nathan down in these woods. An old small tree stump with thick grass around it that always sits hidden in the far depths of the trees with vines and plants hanging around them it's almost like they can't be seen. Nobody ever goes to these woods, this is _their_ special hideout.

"Hey," Tyler says calmly.

"How're you feeling today?" Nathan asks, planting a kiss on Tyler's cheek.

Tyler lets out a drawn-out sigh. "The same. Like always, today's not as bad as other day's though."

"That's always good right?"

"I guess, I just wish I could feel real happiness not just partial happiness that lasts for a few moments before the realization of the real world hits you in the face again; reminding you that your life is complete shit."

Nathan leans over towards Tyler embracing him in his arms. "It's okay Tyler, you've got me. I'll always be here for you." Tyler feels the softness of Nathan's wet lips against his. His problems fade away, his mind doesn't exist anymore. He's caught in the moment. Nathan begins to bite Tyler's lower lip and Tyler feels himself getting hot. Nathan reaches for Tyler's jeans, ready to unbuckle the belt looped around them until Tyler stops him.

Tyler pulls away from Nathan's lips.

"What are you doing we're outside," Tyler asks in confusion letting out quiet giggles.

"Then how about we go inside," Nathan says throwing himself back onto Tyler. Tyler refusing, shoves him off again.

"I'm not feeling it today okay? I-I'm sorry." Tyler says shyly facing his head towards the ground.

Nathan sits frozen and reluctant. He slowly pushes himself away from Tyler and sits up next to him.

"Okay it's fine I get it" He adds. "Well anyways there's this party tonight at some guys house, he was in our grade last year, heard it's gonna be fun. It could help you get away from things."

Tyler shrugs, unsure of the offer. "Dunno. I might be tired."

"Oh come on, I'll be there and it'll be fun you know it will. You haven't been to a party in forever."

He's right. Tyler hasn't been to a party in forever. Tyler hasn't really gotten out of the house at all these past few months since he's graduated high school. It's basically been constant sneaking off to these woods almost every day and when he wasn't in these woods he was locked in his room hiding from his family. He should be thinking of colleges and adult life ahead of him but he doesn't care and his parents don't seem too either.

Tyler sighs. "Okay, I'll go. But only because you're going." He smiles.

Nathan smiles too. "Great! Okay so I'll meet you there, I might be running a bit late because I'll have things to do but it starts at 8:00, promise you'll be there?"

Tyler sits up straight, hands planted on his thighs. He looks up to the cloudy grey-blue sky and thinks for a bit until responding.

"I'll be there."

\----

Tyler gets to the house party at 8:08. He only knows literally three people that'll be here, Nathan of course and his two other pals Louis and Harry.

The house is huge, like really big and it's already packed with people. There's food platters sitting on every table, punch bowls and mini desserts. Streamers are hanging and balloons are floating and the place doesn't look that bad.

Tyler found out the party is being hosted by some guy named Brendon who if he's right, he recalls as one of the most annoying but popular people from 12th grade.

But who cares, Tyler's here to have a good time and maybe make some memories? He doesn't know, whatever happens will be better than being cooped up at home.

It's 8:47 and Tyler's spent the last 37 minutes sitting on one of the living room couches waiting for Nathan while drinking away at some sort of alcohol. He's pretty sure this is his second cup but he's not sure all he knows is the alcohol has already kicked in and he can barely think straight. All around him are guys, girls, everyone just grinding all up on each other like a pack of caged chickens and he's feeling uncomfortable. At least the music is pretty good.

"Tyler!" Tyler hears a familiar voice. He turns around to see Louis with Harry.

"Hey man," Tyler says approaching them, hugging them both.

"You here by yourself?" Harry asks taking a gulp of his drink which is probably alcoholic for all he knows.

"Nah, Nathan's coming he invited me here in the first place I'm just waiting on him. Have you guys happened to see him?"

Harry and Louis look at each other and then both shake their heads no.

"He'll probably be here soon, this place is packed," Louis adds.

Tyler's phone suddenly vibrates in his pocket. He looks at it and sees a missed call from Nathan and a voicemail.

"Oh he actually just called I gotta take this," Tyler says trying to make his way to somewhere quiet. Problem is, there's nowhere in this house that's quiet. He tries to find a bathroom and succeeds. Finally in a quiet environment, he closes the bathroom door and plays the voicemail left by Nathan.

_"Tyler ... it's Nathan. I can't make it tonight I'm not feeling very well.. not only that but I think... I think I need a break... from everything .. even you. Relationships are tough and -and we're better off apart? It's just, we're complete opposites ya know? you're always sad and I'm always trying to make it better but it never works.. I just.. I can't be with someone that's just so negative all the time. Believe me, i tried to help you change, i really did.. But you can be impossible sometimes. Please understand this is for the best.... um, I'm sorry it had to be like this.. I-... I'm sorry."_

Tyler's frozen. Shocked. Actually, that's an understatement, he can't breathe.

That's an understatement too.

 _Literally What The Fuck_ , he thinks to himself.

It has to be a joke. Nathan's just messing with him, right? Yeah, he wouldn't do this to Tyler. He loves Tyler he's said it countless times, except the problem Tyler seems to face at this point is

Did he really mean it?

And Tyler wishes it were all a joke, he wishes he never came to this stupid party, he wishes today never existed, that he could go back to yesterday and even then he doesn't wish that because yesterday sucked ass too but at least it wasn't like today.

But at the same time, even if this is a joke, this is a sick joke and Nathan would know it, he knows how sensitive Tyler is, how anything can trigger him, and even if this is some joke Tyler's not sure if he'll get over it.

He's frantically pushing buttons on his phone dialing Nathan over and over again but no answer he's sending various texts and they're all on Delivered. Nathan sent the voicemail 4 minutes ago so Tyler knows damn well he's reading all his texts.

Tyler's breathing is increasing at rates he's never felt before and he fucking hates it. Fucking hates everything.

He's been seeing a change in Nathan and now it's all clear, it's crystal clear, so damn clear even a blind man could see it.

Nathan fucking used him.

He used the shit out of him for the last 7 months. Tyler definitely doesn't want to believe it but why else would Nathan break up with him so suddenly.

He's not fucking sick he didn't have something come up he fucking planned this like the bastard he is he wanted this, he knew what he was doing and he was acting so innocent this whole time, so helpful, so caring, so understanding, Tyler poured out every last emotion he had to his shit ass but the whole time he didn't care.

Why? he asks himself. Why is everything so hard? Everything seems so difficult and his world is falling apart. No one's ever there for him and when days seem like they're getting brighter they're just getting worse and he's just so fucking tired.

The world as he knows it is caving in, he feels like an animal that's being caged up all the time never able to set himself free. He always tries to please others but where does it get him? Hurt. Pain is all he knows at this point. He wipes the tears that won't stop. They flow down his cheeks like a hose that won't stop spewing.

Moments pass, he's probably been in this damn bathroom for 15 minutes crying, just crying. He's leaned over against the sink looking at his reflection, it's painful to look at and it makes his skin itch. His body is floating, he feels so fucking sick from all the alcohol he drank earlier. He doesn't even know if he's actually still breathing.

His stomach churns and he feels like he's gonna throw chunks and he does. He feels terrible and God he wishes he hadn't drunk so much alcohol.

He can't even think before he does the unthinkable, blood splotches dripping from his wrists down to the floor, he sits in the corner crying.

And he's so fucking sensitive, so damn emotional. He can't help that he has so many built up emotions and that sometimes the simplest things can rip him apart and throw him over the edge.

He needs to fucking pull himself together.

His life flashes before his eyes when he hears the bathroom door knob click, no warning and he's just sitting on the floor staring in shock.

Fuck. He forgot to lock the door.

In comes a boy and his reaction? Priceless. He's terrified at the scene, but who wouldn't be? You'd be shocked too if you walked in on someone crying in the corner of a bathroom while blood dripped from their wrists during a fucking house party.

Tyler doesn't know what to do at this point it's just awkward silence and staring, so he gets up and flees, he rushes past the boy and makes his way to the front door. He needs to get out of here.

All he can hear is the boy calling after him to come back, what's wrong, where's he going?

It's none of his damn business he doesn't even know the guy.

Tyler finally gets into his car but he's too weak to even start it and drive off, he just sits there crying in his car like the pathetic ass he is and before he can even realize, the boy has already caught up to him.

He knocks on his car window, face still horrified it's like he's seen a ghost.

Tyler's first instinct is to ignore him and just drive off, but he doesn't for some reason. Instead, he sighs and rolls down his window revealing his red, puffy, nasty face to the boy.

"What the fuck do you want?" Tyler snaps in between sniffles.

"D- Dude, what's wrong? what was going on in ther-?"

"Why is it any of your damn business?" Tyler interrupts.

"Woah, well it's definitely not something to look past when you walk in on someone cutting themselves and crying themselves to death."

"Maybe that's what I wanted." Tyler whispers under his breath, although not quiet enough for the boy to not hear.

"I'm really trying to help," The boy responds. 

Trying to help? Yeah, where's Tyler heard that before?

"I don't know what's going on but you're definitely not fit to go anywhere by yourself."

The boy yanks open Tyler's car door gesturing for him to get out. Tyler wants to cuss him out, be like _"why the fuck are you bothering me and why are you trying to get in my car? fuck off"_ But Tyler doesn't do that, he lets the boy get into the driver's seat as he gets into the passenger seat.

"W- What are you doing?" Tyler asks. He's so weak at this point he can't even bother to argue with this guy anymore. If he decides to kidnap Tyler and kill him or something in the end so be it, Tyler's got nothing to lose.

The boy looks at Tyler and lets out a deep sigh, he starts the car and backs out of the houses long driveway and makes his way for the main road.

"We're getting you out of here."

\----

It's only been 2 minutes that's Tyler's been in his own car with this stranger and it feels like it's been hours. There's just been constant awkward silence and Tyler's faint sniffles of course.

The boy gave Tyler a bunch of napkins to wrap his cuts with to stop the blood but now the cuts are really starting to sting.

"What was going on in there?" The boy asks. Tyler keeps silent, not wanting to speak. The boy sighs.

"Where are you taking me?" The alcohol in Tyler's system is slowly beginning to wear off and he's coming to a sudden realization that he actually is in his own car with some random stranger.

"My house." The boy responds.

Tyler stares out the window for a bit longer, he's still out of it. He's examining the dark night sky and the moon that can barely be seen behind the faint clouds.

"Wait but I don't know you, what if you're kidnapping me?" The alcohol kicks back in and now he's feeling loopy and not thinking before he speaks.

"Trust me I'm not here to kidnap anyone."

The boy begins to slow down and pulls up into the driveway of a pretty nice house, almost similar to Tyler's.

"Is this your house?" Tyler asks.

"Yeah, now come on," The boy responds. He opens his side of the car door and slams it shut, making his way over to Tyler. He opens the door and helps Tyler get out. Tyler slowly gets up struggling to plant his feet on the ground without collapsing.

Depression plus alcohol aren't a good mix.

"Give me that," The boy demands.

Tyler looks at him confused. "Give you what?"

The boy points to Tyler's hands, Tyler hadn't even noticed that he'd been holding the same bloody blade from earlier in his hands this whole time.

How embarrassing.

"Oh... no it's fine I'll just throw it away o- once I wash it off of course."

The boy gives him an uneasy look and then shrugs. They walk up the steps of his front porch and into his house. The boy pushes open the mahogany door, revealing his calm mint green painted living room. There's fancy China and home decor everywhere and it complements the color so nicely. He's never seen an average house so well I decorated before.

"You've got a pretty nice house," Tyler says walking around inspecting the decorations. There's a ton of colorful, abstract paintings hung up. He feels like he's in a museum.

"Thanks," The boy says. He leads Tyler upstairs to his room and Tyler's quite surprised because his room matches exactly like the rest of his house except his walls are a faint lavender color and he has flowers hanging up above his bed. His bed is well made and his sheets are plain white. His room looks nothing like what Tyler would've imagined considering this guy has a sleeve of tattoos and piercings, he was expecting some dark punk rock vibe but this looks like it could pass as a girls room with the feminine qualities it has.

The boy leaves his room and Tyler takes a look around. There're picture frames of the boy as a child as well as photos of his parents. He's got a ton of clothes and shoes and his closet is neatly organized there's no sort of clothing left on the floor like Tyler usually has. The boy has a desk in the corner of his room and it's so neat, everything is just so, so _perfect._  

Tyler sees the letters _"J O S H"_ hung in the corner of his room so he's guessing that's his name which makes Tyler realize that the two of them never introduced themselves.

Josh walks back in with a cup of water, antibacterial ointment, more napkins and an adhesive bandage.

Tyler sets down his phone and walks over towards Josh. "My names Tyler, by the way."

Josh looks at Tyler and then sets down the stuff on his dresser. "I'm J-"

"Josh." Tyler interrupts. He takes his the bloody, matted paper towels off from his arm. "I know, I saw it on your wall."

Josh lets out a low chuckle. He walks over to Tyler and inspects his arm. "It's still pretty bad. Does it sting?"

"A bit."

"Let's get you into the bathroom," Josh suggests. Tyler follows behind. They enter the bathroom, same lavender color with more paintings hung up. Tyler takes a seat in front of the sink on one of the bathroom chairs. Josh pours water over the cuts and then wraps them around in the bandages.

"Did you ever get rid of that blade?" He asks.

Tyler looks at him and doesn't know what to say because no he didn't get rid of the blade and he's not planning on it either.

"Uh yeah," Tyler lies. "Could you give me a moment, I have to use the bathroom," Lies again.

Josh nods and simply leaves the bathroom considering he thinks Tyler doesn't have the blade. Tyler knows if he told josh he did he wouldn't leave him anywhere alone so he had to lie. He doesn't even know the guy so whys it matter.

The alcohol is slowly fading from Tyler's system and Tyler's mood is suddenly changing from calm to angry because now that he's sober again he remembers what had just happened, he realizes that what Nathan said was actually true and this is the reality of it all and now he truly realizes that he just let some stranger take him to his house.

What has Tyler gotten himself into?

He has nowhere else to go, he doesn't want to go home, he can't go to Nathan's and it's far too dark and his mind is far too messed up at this moment to take himself down to the dark forest alone.

Tyler pulls out the blade from his pocket with shaky hands. He takes it everywhere he goes. It's bad and Tyler knows that but he's addicted and he feels like he always needs it. Tyler thinks hard for a moment and inhales deep breaths. He exhales, relaxing himself as he puts the blade back in his pocket. 

Tyler lets his mind wander for a moment as he stares at the bathrooms lavender walls. He's unsure of what to do, he doesn't know what's best for him because he doesn't know what he want's. But he decides for now.

He'll stay here with Josh. Just for tonight at least.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay that's it for chapter one and honestly if you actually enjoyed this and want chapter two please leave a kudos or a comment saying you want more chapters or something because i like feedback and i don't want to keep making chapters when nobody will actually read them lols okay but if you actually liked this chapter thanks for reading :D


End file.
